Living together while dating
One of you might have a hefty savings account or rainy day fund, while the other may see whatever is left over after the bills are paid as available to be spent.
"Learning about each other's money habits and values often happen when you live together," Masini says. If you take three extensions on tax returns and then decide to blow them off for a year because you probably won't get caught—and he files in February of every year, you've got some ground to cover as a couple before you get married." Talk to one another about any debts you have, from car payments and student loans (not so bad) to major credit card bills that need to be paid (not so good! The closer you can get to similar, stable spending and saving habits, the better: You’ll be better equipped to cover unexpected expenses or pay off debts, and will know whether you can really afford that luxe honeymoon you’ve been dreaming about.
“It’s much more managing two lives combined,” Masini continues.
So while budgets, schedules, and the never-ending “what do you want for dinner?
And in case you haven't heard, sharing household responsibilities such as the dishes and laundry is the hottest form of foreplay. "You'll get to know each other's level of desire and find a balance in terms of frequency so you can both feel good about your sexual life together," Greer says.
Of course, those first few weeks of living together are definitely a honeymoon phase, so enjoy it while it happens, and then start a conversation with your partner about both of your sexual needs once that fire turns into a steady smoulder.
Couples inevitably bring the cohabitating mindset into marriage because it’s hard to flip the switch, especially when your married life looks on the surface almost exactly like your life before. There are a great many shacked up couples who are only together today because breaking up would be too much of a hassle. This is a pretty reliable rule: If you’ve been with someone for a few months and you still have no idea whether he fits any of the criteria I listed above — he doesn’t. OK, maybe he’s a sociopath who can fool everyone into thinking he’s Prince Charming while he carries on a double life as mob hit man, but probably not.
If marriage is a car, then commitment is the engine.Shacking up before you say “I do” isn’t nearly as taboo as it was a decade or two ago, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get an earful from family members or friends (especially if there isn’t a ring on your finger quite yet! "Tradition is strong," says April Masini, relationship expert and advice columnist."Many people are still the first generation to live together and whenever you break tradition, you've got questions to answer and judgment to be passed." But there are serious advantages to living together before you get married, far beyond the cash you’ll save by paying a single rent or mortgage instead of two.Consider these five benefits as you decide if moving in with your S. is the right choice for you—and be prepared to share them with your loved ones if they start to question your decision.This is probably the first benefit that came to mind when you and your partner started thinking about moving in together: It’s really a practice run for a lifetime of living together—without the major commitment or legal documents.
The truth is that it’s the direct opposite of marriage. You can’t walk your separate ways without selling the condo and figuring out a custody arrangement for the dog. Think of that De Niro line from Heat: “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.” That’s a terrible way to operate in a marriage but it’s not a bad way to approach the dating scene, especially if you conduct elaborate bank heists for a living.